The Aftermath

I sit here, enjoying an entertaining book, on my soft bed, and burning a scented candle on my night stand. All three luxeries that I don't or can't posses at school. As I look back upon it, this semester wasn't so bad. It had its ups and downs, but doesn't every semester have those? I still don't know my final grade in any of my classes and I'm told that I won't until Christmas Eve which is kinda crazy. So what are your thoughts on friends? My thoughts exactly......When you have a good friend, you are a blessed person for it. If anyone is reading this, please, please, please do not desert your good friend over a guy or girl, it's not worth it. You either graduated from college with your "special person" or you get dumped by that person to look around you and see that those that you had deserted have left you as well. Something I've learned, don't ever let someone tell you that you/convince you that you like someone that you never even have given a second thought to. It's a time waister and ends up making a bunch of people upset who never had to be in that situation in the first place.

You know what's interesting? Five people that I thought were good friends of mine ended up being just the reverse. Its never a good feeling to find out that you were just being used or that you're being talked about behind your back. I think this past semester I've learned to lean upon my Jesus so much more than I have been. He is truly my all and all. And He keeps stretching me, preparing me for something that only He knows about (haha), but I'm ever so thankful. I'm going to go back to my book, but I wanted to give a little update on the most exciting life in the world....:) Until next time.

My heart is hurting and burdened. When I get one load off another comes running on top of it. God, help me please? I want to cry but no tears are coming. I want to run but my legs won't move. I want to give somone a tongue lashing but my brain is telling my tongue not to do so. Denying my flesh has been really hard this week. I've found out that a friend has been dishonest, another won't keep her nose in her own affairs, and yet another is getting married in an hour. To whom, I couldn't even tell you. Why does life have to be so hard to get through. Sometimes I wish I was five again. At least then, all I was concerned about was running around and enjoying the earth that God made. Oh what's wrong with me????? I need your stength Jesus. Won't you wrap your arms around me? Won't you comfort me when I call out to you? I know that you hear me. I know that you are here. Will you please guide me to where you want me to go? Forever your child,
~JGB

A small tidbit

"When we embrace the way of faith and trust in God, following him even when the path is unfamiliar or unknown, what seems like it should diminish us actually enlarges us."
-Jean E. Sysweda (Women of the Bible)

a prayer

"Sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
when the mountains look so big
and my faith just seems so small
And I wake up in the night and
Feel the dark
It's so hard inside my soul
There must be blisters
on my heart
Hold me Jesus
'Cause I'm shaking
Like a leaf..." (Sung by Rebecca St. James)

What can I say Lord?
Life seems so confusing at times
Dreams are dashed
the world gets turned around
things that I thought were stable
I find out are really unstable
You are teaching me that
I cannot trust in man
But only you.
Keep me by your side or Lord
Don't ever let me
Stray from you
Prune me and grow me
in your grace
Create in me
A clean heart
Make me beautiful
in your eyes
Because in the end
That's all that really matters
I love you
Because you
First loved
Me.